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These were the words that my mind had been stubbornly refusing to utter from a whisper into full conscience. At 39 years old, I abruptly started having hot flashes. Looking back, it felt like an episode of The Golden Girls. For those of us who may recall the episode, it relates to Blanche thinking she was pregnant but instead ended up having menopause. In other words, I went from thinking about babies to thinking about senior discounts I couldn’t yet have, in what felt like a hot, sweaty instant. How did this happen, you may ask? Well, I had premature ovarian failure, or early menopause, the wild card none of us like to be handed. Having just come out of laparoscopic surgery for endometriosis to follow up with infertility treatment, I was already in shock at discovering the severity and finality of my condition. I was not prepared to be greeted soon after, with my ovaries deciding to retire early, without inviting me to the party.

My brother often says, “The others are just us,” a phrase I find rings true in life. Early menopause, though less common, can happen to any woman. In my case, several factors contributed. Endometriosis likely played a role, as did complications from endometrial surgery. In some cases, like mine, doctors may also say there’s “no clear reason,” or use terms like “idiopathic,” meaning the cause is unknown. I do not find this acceptable.

The emotional and physical toll of early menopause impacted more than just my fertility. As in many of us, it can affect our overall health, mental well-being, and quality of life. Greater awareness and understanding can lead to better treatments and coping mechanisms. Health outcomes in such a condition may be worse than in women naturally entering this stage of life. Ultimately we must evolve beyond “idiopathic” to achieve prevention and cure for so many of us, and while we wait for those advancements, we must support each other. Today, I want to open up discussions for support, be that emotional, educational, or otherwise. I hope it is also a little cathartic, and I would be grateful if others can share their experiences.”

Woman to Woman